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Timmy's dispatches from the road (emails sent to the webmaster, which may or may not be suitable for publication):

7.27.06 - Telluride, CO

Last night on my way to Telluride I picked up a 51-year-old male named Frank. He was wet from a summer afternoon storm pelting him on the side of Interstate 70 westbound, a prisoner of the white lines. He was an utter, unapologetic, unrepentant addict and used any and every substance exhaustedly no matter the sequence or consequence. Almost everything I said was a segue to another hedonistic, depraved anecdote.
He ate chocolate, drank bottled beer, smoked filter-less cigarettes, dumped greasy chips, lost a lid, smoked several pipe loads and jammed aloud to his CD of "The Band" at 28. I turned it down to 20. He turned it back. We sat beside each other for 5 1/2-hours. I experienced waves of acceptance and repugnance. I tried to find wisdom to glean, nuggets of insight that weren't laced with potent THC, moments of Gandhi like fortitude and empathy but I came up virtually empty handed.
Almost, I say, because we did share one moment of profound synergy. A primordial light show, played out over a Grand Mesa 23 miles outside of Delta, Colorado at 11:35pm at 70-miles per hour. A low ceiling of gunship-grey billowing clouds illuminated by pulsing internal explosions indiscriminately emitted jagged iridescent bolts that connected heaven and earth. I forgot about woes and injustice; I disconnected from the rhetoric of compassion and piety; I silenced the music, the madness and Frank.
I drove headlong into the maul. A wind infused with the scent of wet sage and soaking earth blasted through my open window; it kept me alert and gave turbulent lift to words screamed into the night, dispersed them to strangers and loved ones alike ...live life now...live life now...live life now.

4.26.06 - Poland

I am in Poland and last night I did a show in Wroclaw and the name says it all - awkward yet beautiful.  I made fun of the Pope in the land that eats, sleeps and loves the Pope, after all the POlish people put the PO in POpe. I am always working on Pontiff humor and now I know when and when not use it - note to self, don't make fun of Pope John Paul the II in his home town.
The travels have been f'ing wild and the climbing today was just as dangerous as usual, slack belays and only one bolt at the top - who needs superfluous anchors when Baby needs bread let alone diapers.

4.23.06 - Poland

I slayed it in Slovakia, they were going to award me the best of the festival but they didn't have a category so they fucked me and instead just waxed me all the time - what? Now I am in Poland and I just had a glass of high octane mulberry wine made by this guy Alek Lwow, the "Silver Lion" who runs this Polish magazine Gory y Alpinizmo and has climbed many of the 8,000meter peaks in the winter, a true Polish suffer'fest machine. Tonight I am heading to Wroslaw to get ready for tomorrow nights show. OH FUCKING YEA.  Is the site up yet? - I am going to Czech on it right now.

4.20.06

what time is it in boulder- - i am lost in a fucking FOG of travel- I am becoming discombobulated, disembodied, disgusted EVEN.

4.19.06

I am in Bratislava, Slovakia - an austere locale that reeks, well actually it doesn't smell at all, of Soviet influence. It was only 13 years ago that the Iron Curtain fully dropped away and the Slovaks gained their independence. I am still trying to figure out the vibe of this place - today after my arrival and subsequent pick up at the Vienna air terminal in a 80's issue beater Renault, which the owner Ivana, held up a sign Timmy ONeill outside of a super realxed customs and I was able to sneak up behind her as she did not know what the hell I looked like, we sped across the border into the land of the Slovak a mere 25-minutes later.
I borrowed a bike raced around the city doing my damnedest not to get pegged by an inebriated driver, met up with a gaggle of disenfranchised goth kids playing kackysack who were professed dopers and boozers and invited me to join them in their afternoon libations but I defered wishing to remain in possession of my faculties and more importantly of my cash and passport.
I left my wallet in the boatel - that is right I am staying in a boat on the Danube in the heart of Bratislava - it kind of makes me motion sick and even a little homesick - I know GET OVER IT.

Bratislava, Slovakia - 4.21.06

The misunderstanding of the non/mistress Ivana

PLS put this email in the site at the Bratislava section, under Hory a Mesto film festival, under the title "The misunderstanding of the non/mistress Ivana" PLS put both of her emails under there - as I want to paint a picture of her as this alluring wanton sex kitten in the story but in reality SHE was at the airport pregnant and with her husband. BUMMER. I was expecting someone out-of hand and I got a bun-in-the-oven.

>Ahoj Timmy,
>
>my name is Ivana and I was authorised to organise your festival life
>during the film festival Hory and mesto in Bratislava Slovakia...
>I am reliable and precise, don´t worry nothing unexpected will happend...
>And I would like to ask you, if you have already some idea,
>how would you like to spend the rest of the time during the festival
>(sightseeings, museum, opera ... ?!?)
>...or some other requirements?
>Just let me know and I will do my best.
>
>I am really very looking forward to meet you....
>
>Best regards
>
>
>Ivana Sidorova

Hello Ivana,
I am excited to visit the festival and provide a memorable show for the
audience beyond that I am not too concerned with any itinerary. I will be
coming to Bratislava on April 19th in the afternoon.
I know Alan wanted to arrange some interviews and PR for my friday night
talk.
I would like to visit some museums and walk(or use a bicycle) around the
city.
I have never been to Slovakia and I am very curious to learn about the
people, places and the VIBE (the feel) of the country.

Thanks for getting in touch with me and I appreciate your attention to my trip.
Best
Timmy O

Hi Timmy,

no problem.. so, your itinerary will consist of unexpected experiences full
of rich taste of slovak people, places and vibes.
I try to organise some bicycle for you.
I will have the information about your interviews from Alan,
so you can get this matter out of your head.
Will chase you to be on time at the right place... :-)
I will pick up you at the airport and bring you to hotel on April 19th.
So if there is something else, just let me know.

Have a nice day.

Ivana

Red Rock Rendezvous - 3.24.2006

Hello to everyone at Montrail, that is, THE new and improved, trail running/climbing/river running/hiking stylized Montrail - especially my peeps workin' it back in the warehouse with Keith and the boyz...getting sh*t done so the P.Rod-uct gets out to the all the Retail homies and homiettas...

I digress:
My Dearest Montrailians,
Jay, our humblest servant, was quite correct in his salient summation of the 3rd annual RRR. It was OTT - over the top. With the exception of the penetrating winds of saturday 'early-mid-late' evening the event was indeed flawless. In my opinion the RRR is the finest consumer climbing event that our fair country has to offer. It is well produced and deftly executed with close attention to taking care of the clinic attendees, the pro climbers/guides and the phat sponsors and best of all they have a great big stage, a thundering PA system and at least two microphones.

My show friday night was my most comedic to date - it must have been my days/nights of screening Eddie Murphy's "Delirious", Pablo Franscisco's standup and channeling the spirit of Richard Pryor - or was it just the six-pack, ample doobage and the shark cartilage?

Jay and John as well as the Montrail reps Kurt Watkins, Jim Hewett and Brian Block were on SCENE. The new sexy pop up was spacious and filled with all things Montrail - like Brittany and her sixpack. John Grandt made butterscotch cookies in the CTX oven at night - Glenfiddichscotch cookies that is.

The clinics were excellent, exactly what they should be for $20 a piece - you get to hang out with your climbing hero, toprope, learn a bit and enjoy one of America's finest crags.

I am going next year, FOR SURE. I hope Montrail is with me and keeps pumping up the jams to the folks in the climbing community and beyond. And the warehouse boys can all come out and climb for the weekend and then take the Timmy O'Neill post Rendezvous nighttime clinic "Sending the Strip".

I have enclosed a few pics taken by John Evans @ Petzl for your amusement